Saturday, June 11, 2011

The tide changes with every ebb and flow...

Life has been quite a whirlwind lately. I really shouldn't even be spending time on my blog because I have so much studying to do for my Summer courses. I'm back in school and hopefully getting these science courses out of the way so I can make it through to a nursing program and start my career within the next two years. I keep having to remind myself that time will go by much faster than I think, so not to fret on how far in the distance my "grown-up" life appears to be.

Justin and I have gone from planning a move to Central Florida- transferring schools, apartment hunting, telling the whole world about it- yeah, we were pretty sure of our decision- to having a change of heart, I guess. Justin decided that he wants to go back into the military. Now, because the government has no money to accept active duty personnel, Justin must re-enlist as a reservist. This is fine for him, though, because he can maintain his job, go to school, and work toward a retirement through the military all at the same time. So, this is a very good plan. At first he wanted to go to Florida regardless, but I finally had a sit-down with him and told him that my heart was not in that decision. I want to continue to enjoy my awesome job and my friends, family, and potential for school. Not to mention, if he were to deploy, or even leave for a period of time to train, I wouldn't want to be alone in a new city by myself. I'd prefer to have my time here with my happy surroundings.

Since we've established no Florida move and no transferring of schools, I now have to pursue (diligently) a degree in nursing from one of a few schools close-by. So I'm taking A&P and Microbiology right now, with the hopes of finishing everything up in the Fall and just focusing on my applications. Our lease at the apartment is up July 31st of this year, so Justin and I have really considered our options. We've looked into moving to Serenbe (my awesome place of work), other local apartments, or try to get a house. We've really been pursuing the latter because we have been pre-qualified and are now awaiting (with prayers lifted high) a pre-approval. We have a few houses we really love, and they all surround or fall within an up and coming neighborhood that we are really excited about. So we hope and pray that the preapproval comes, and that it's for a loan high enough to afford our first home. We are so excited about this plan for our life together, but I think the nurturer, nesting woman that I am really loves this idea. It gives me great comfort in knowing that Justin and I are going after our degrees, working, married, and now buying our first home... hopefully. I say "hopefully" every time because I have a basic knowledge of how hard it is these days to get pre-approved, given the horrible market. But the fact that it's a buyer's market seems to put a lot of homes within our budget, but we just have to convince the lenders that. Since we pre-qualed, it looks really good, but there are always small things that creep up and seem to change mine and Justin's course, so I'm trying so hard not to get worked up and excited about something that is so much of an unknown at this point- and completely out of our control, by the way.

But having a home would mean stability, savings (loosely phrased) and family. It would provide a happy, welcoming place for family and friends who have come to visit, and it would mean a stable place for us, built and decorated and representative of our life together. Not to mention, one step closer to building a family family :)

So yeah, aside from the constant reminders in the back of my mind about these classes and the need for me to study, I have been immersed in this home-owning adventure we've been on. I need to have a good sit-down with the Lord Jesus and tell him what's in my heart of hearts and come to terms with the fact that I am NOT in control, but He absolutely is. If it be in His will that we own a home in the near future, then it will all work out. If it isn't, then I need to know I can rest and know that He is Lord, and mine and Justin's needs will be met- we just need to be examples for Him, love Him, and trust Him.

Can I get an AMEN?!?!

God Bless.